Whitney

I HAVE MOVED.

2008-03-24T02:19:47Z

You have been good to be livejournal but I have officially moved my journal to a new home... You can find me here:

http://whitneyhirschinger.wordpress.com

Thanks!!

30 day veg pledge

2008-01-26T19:33:12Z

So I have made the decision to try the 30 day veg pledge. Basically this means I am going to be a vegetarian for 30 days. I'm doing this for a variety of reasons. One being the animals of course. I know it won't be easy but it's something i'm interested in doing. If I can do it for 30 days I'm thinking that I can really consider becoming a vegetarian. I won't go vegan. I love dairy products. I'll probably just look for dairy products that are organic and animal friendly. It's going to be a slow transition I am sure.

Also, one thing I'm really trying to remind myself of is that I can't be perfect with this. There is so much hypocracy in vegetarianism. A good example is... "Oh I don't eat meat cause it's mean to the animals...but I own a down coat and a leather belt. I need to realize that I already have many products that have used animals in their making, and that I won't be perfect. This is just a conscious decision to try something new and see how it goes.

So we'll see! Wish me luck! :)

Also, if you are interested in learning more about what i'm doing this website is awesome:

http://goveg.com/

A few things to update...

2008-01-09T06:26:23Z

1. Did Clinton REALLY just win N.H.? REALLY? REALLLLLLY? I am not happy about this. At all.

2. I'm kinda pissed that people are overlooking the defending Champs. AKA: MY COLTS! They are flying so under the radar and people aren't giving them the credit they deserve.

3. I am at some major crossroads right now. I have some huge life decisions I have to make...and it's stressing me out.

4. It's 1:25am...and I have to be up at 7...why am I awake?

5. I could really use a king size chocolate bar right now...or some peanut butter.

6. I'm grumpy. Can you tell?

Retrospect - - - - - 2007

2008-01-02T19:09:54Z

Well... I normally do a recap of the past year on this silly journal and so I might as well carry on the tradition, regardless of how few people read this thing...

The past year has brought about a lot of changes. Some good. Some bad. It's crazy when I look back on how many twists and turns were thrown my direction, and how much I grew because of it all. It's incredible how the trials that God puts us through end up being the most beneficial situations in our lives. Adversity gives us a great opportunity to reflect on our mistakes and focus on fixing things for the future. Here are some things that happened this year...

- I turned 21 at the beginning of the year...and now in only a few days I will be turning 22. It's crazy how quickly a year flies by. I'm a little sad about turning 22. Being 21 has been fun.

- I saw some GREAT concerts this past year. Some highlights would have to be The Fray, Jon Mclaughlin, Switchfoot, Nickelback, Staind, Jimmy Buffet, John Mayer, Ben Folds, etc... So much fun.

- I finished up my last semester at Stewart Cooperative. I experienced my last Rush, my last formal, and many other fun events that we had at Stew. I have realized that I took alot away from that house, and that I miss the girls a lot. The friendships I made in that house have been some of the best friendships of my life and will carry on once I leave college. I am so grateful for that.

- My COLTS won the Superbowl. One of the best moments of my life. I always jokingly said the Colts winning the Superbowl would be a bigger day than my own wedding day. ha ha. It was really exciting watching them win it all and I can only hope in the coming weeks they will do it again!!

- I decided to dye my hair black randomly one night. Big mistake.

- I went to Florida for spring break with a great group of friends. I had SO much fun. I went to Disneyworld, and the beach, and had an awesome time. I love looking back on all the photographs from it. Good times.

- This past summer I was a nanny for the second summer in a row. I LOVED it. Best job of my life. I learned so much from those two little girls than I could ever learn from anyone else. It's amazing what a little kid can teach you and the patience you gain from experiencing an entire summer with a 5 & 7 year old. They brought so much joy to my life.

- I went to Cedar Point and road CRAZY HUGE rollercoasters. It helped me get over my fear of them a little bit. I dunno how many i'll be getting on soon, but I know i'd go back next summer if my friends wanted to! It was a good time!

- I went to Colorado twice this summer. Experienced alot of great things out there. It is SO gorgeous out west. The mountains are amazing. I got an opportunity to go horseback riding in Rocky Mountain National Park, hike the flat irons, visit the Coors Brewing factory, experience liberal Boulder Colorado, briefly visit downtown Denver, and so much more. It was a good time.

- I was blessed with the opportunity to buy two pets this summer. Jack and Elsie. They are my two ferrets and they are awesome. I love them so much. They bring me so much joy and happiness and if I'm having a bad day I always know that just being around them and watching them play and be their cute selves always makes my bad day a little brighter.

- I moved into my very first apartment with two of my closest friends, Ross and Karen! It's been so much fun living with them and experiencing a new chapter in my college life.

- As most of you know I went through a really tough breakup this past year. I've for the most part... kept the pain of heartbreak to myself and dealt with it in different ways then most people would go about dealing with a breakup. I don't really know what the future holds but I do know that no matter what God is teaching me SO much from this situation and I know that it will, in the long run, benefit both myself and Brian. I miss him so much, but I know that God has different plans for us both right now and I have had to learn to accept that. I feel so blessed to have had such an amazing person in my life for the past four years and I can't wait to see what the future has in store for both of us, whether it be together or apart. God works in mysterious ways, but he always knows what is best for us and I take solace in knowing that he will always be there for me and will never let me go through life alone.

- One of the best parts of this year has been having the opportunity to meet so many new people and grow closer to others that have been in my life for quite some time. It's been so fun watching my friendships grow, and it's been even more fun meeting new people. I've made some great new friends this past year and I can't wait to see what 2008 has to offer.

Like I said before, God works in such mysterious ways, but he always finds a way to make things come out just the way they are supposed to if you simply trust in Him. I know I've done a bad job of trusting him this past year too many times to count, and I can only hope that I can learn to place my confidence in him more and more during 2008.

I hope you all have a blessed year and that this past year has brought you many wonderful experiences. <3

Debbie made my day

2007-12-28T03:26:26Z

Quote of the day...brought to you by the fabulous Debbie!

"was there like, a condom shortage in hollywood?"

She was referring to the massive amount of pregnant stars in hollywood currently...too great.

A little bitter.

2007-12-26T20:36:21Z

You know... it's bad to be bitter around the holidays. I know this...but I can't help but be a little bit resentful towards someone currently. I'm starting to feel like I wasted my time, and I don't like feeling that way. Especially when I feel like I've wasted my time for a really LONG time...try four years. But really... when you wish someone a Merry Christmas, and you mean well by it... is it that hard to say something back? Is ignoring someone really necessary?

It just goes to show me how true it really is. If someone REALLY loved you and really cared about you, they would have done anything to keep you in their life. They would have FOUGHT for you. I know I would have. I fight for what I want. I would risk EVERYTHING for something I loved.

Guess it just goes to show that it's time to move on, and that is what I am doing. Moving on. 100%.

Near to You

2007-12-26T03:04:00Z

I am OBSESSED with the lyrics to this song...great song also...

He and I had something beautiful
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last
I loved him so but I let him go
'Cause I knew he'd never love me back

Such pain as this
Shouldn't have to be experienced
I'm still reeling from the loss,
Still a little bit delirious

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

You and I have something different
And I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be

He's disappearing
Fading suddelly
I'm so close to being yours
Won't you stay with me
Please

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I belong
Where you are

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
Though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

Yet, I'm better near to you.

Gosh I must be bored.

2007-12-23T04:17:31Z

*The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly! - A Survey of Your Life*
* So Basically... *
Name?:	Whitney
Age?:	21..almost 22.
Sex?:	Female.
Birth Date?:	1/14/86
Hair Color?:	Naturally...light brown...currently...all kinds of colors.
Eye Color?:	Bluuuuue.
Height?:	5'11
Weight?:	Psssh.
Body Type?:	I dunno...? Thin, but not skinny?
Piercings?:	Ears, Belly Button
Tattoos?:	I want one.
What are you wearing right now?:	Sweatpants and a sweatshirt.
Hair style at the moment?:	Ponytail.
* Favorites *
Soda?:	Dr. Pepper.
Food?:	Cheese...or peanut butter.
Drink?:	Milk
Alcoholic Drink?:	Raspberry Stoli & Sprite
Time of day?:	I don't really have a preference.
Season?:	Spring or Fall
Day of the week?:	Saturday
Song at the moment?:	Kendall Payne - I will show you love
Band/Artist?:	OneRepublic...currently.
Book?:	I'm not reading much currently...
Subject in school?:	Anything relating to my major (Photography)
Place in the USA?:	California... or Disneyworld.
Place outside the USA?:	I dunno...haven't been to alot of places outside the US yet.
Color?:	Green...but lately I have been really drawn to Yellow and Purple.
Style of clothes?:	Anything fun.
Store?:	Charlotte Russe
Mall?:	I like Circle Centre.
City?:	I love Chicago....but Indy is great. It's been my home for so long.
Website?:	www.deviantart.com
Magazine?:	Cosmo...i'll admit it.
Kind of pet?:	I love all animals.
* Worst *
Place to be?:	An early morning class.
Class in school?:	Spanish.
Time of dayr?:	Early.
Season?:	Winter.
Kind of pet?:	I wouldn't want a spider of any kind.
Drink?:	I HATE TEQUILA. EWWW.
Food?:	I don't like Cucumbers...
Mall?:	I dunno.
Store?:	I hate IndigoNation. Im sorry but I'm not paying 200 dollars for a T shirt.
Style of clothes?:	Eh I dunno
Celebrity?:	I can't stand Tom Brady and BeliCHEAT. Do they count as celebrities?
Color?:	I really like all colors.
Book?:	Anything that I'm required to read I usually hate.
Type of music?:	Eh I dunno...
Website?:	I dunno.
Magazine?:	Dunno. (i'm getting lazy with this survey)
* Daily Life *
When do you get up?:	If I had a choice...late.
What is your first thought?:	I dont wanna get out of bedddddd.
What do you do first?:	Go check my email.
What's your usual outfit?:	Jeans and a comfy T shirt.
What's the first class of the day?:	Well this semester it was either Spanish or Documentary Photography.
When does school end?:	Depends on the day...
Do you see your friends?:	I try to, I live with two of my BEST friends.
What do you do when you get home?:	I'm almost always on my computer.
What time do you go to bed?:	Really late. I'm a night owl.
* Do you...*:
Brush your teeth daily?:	Umm... yes.
Brush your hair daily?:	If I make it curly I don't brush it, I just take a diffuser to it.
Shower daily?:	Usually. Yes.
Sing?:	All the time. and i'm HORRIBLE at it.
Dance?:	I love to dance.
Party?:	Parties are fun.
Get drunk?:	Ha...go ask my roomate the answer to that question! ;)
Have sex?:	Negative.
Read books?:	Yeah.
Listening to music a lot?:	Everyday.
Read magazines?:	Sometimes.
Go online a lot?:	I'm always online.
Stay on AIM all day even with an away message?:	Yeah.
Have a religion?:	Yeah. Yay Jesus!
Have an IPod?:	Yes.
Want an IPod?:	I'd like a new one..mine is close to dying.
Have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend?:	Not currently no.
Play an instrument?:	Nope. I wanna learn how to play the drums and piano though.
Get sick a lot?:	Not often, but I tend to complain about small things like aches and stuff more than I should.
Watch TV?:	Some.
Like MTV?:	Depends on the show.
Like VH1?:	Depends...
Like the History Channel?:	My dad loves it...
Have Digital Cable?:	Yeah.
Have more than 500 channels on your TV?:	Here at home yes.
Listen to the radio?:	Yeah in my car.
Still use your CD player?:	Not really.
Stalk people?:	Uh...no?
Have more than 200 buddies on your Buddy List?:	Ummm...close?
Have dial-up internet?:	Nope.
Have AOL?:	Nope.
Know HTML?:	I used to know it really well...I've lost some of the knowledge now, but I could pick it back up fast I think.
Have a GPA higher than 3.9?:	No.
Get H's in honors classes?:	Uhh no.
* Music *
Do you listen to Rap?:	Some.
R & B?:	Some.
Blues and/or Jazz?:	A little.
Classical?:	A little.
Pop?:	Yes.
Country?:	Yes.
Emo/Scremo?:	Some.
Heavy Metal?:	Some.
Christian?:	Yes.
Techno?:	Some.
Reggae?:	Some.
Broadway Musical songs?:	Some.
Oldies?:	Yes.
* In A Boyfriend/Girlfriend *
Hair color?:	I love blondes.
Eye color?:	I love light colored eyes normally.
Tattoos?:	I think tattoos are sexxxxy
Piercings?:	I think they are sexy too!
Favorite Music?:	If he likes what I like then we are golden!
Style of clothing?:	I like a man who knows how to dress well.
Body Type?:	I like guys who are bulky or teddy bear like...they gotta be taller than me or at least weigh more! ha ha!
Personality or Looks?:	Personality. Definitely.
Would you go out with someone just for their money?:	No.
Do you go on "Pity Dates"?:	No.
Does size matter?:	Nope. Not to me.
Do they have to be popular?:	No.
Does the guy ask the girl or the other way around?:	I like a guy who takes the time to pursue a girl...I find it REALLY attractive for a guy who is down for the chase.
Where do you go on the first date?:	out for coffee?
Kiss on the first date?:	No.
Sex on the first date?:	Nooooo.
* Right Now *
Do you think you look good right now?:	I look tired.
Are you eating something?:	Nope.
Are you drinking something?:	Nope.
Are you IMing anyone?:	Yup!
Are you talking on the phone with someone?:	I was just a second ago.
Are you talking face to face with someone?:	Nope.
Is anyone at your house who doesn't live there?:	Nope.
What song are you listening to?:	Chris Brown - With You
What are you watching on TV?:	Nope.
What other websites do you have open?:	Facebook (big surprise right?)
Why are you taking this survey?:	Cause I am bored out of my freaking mind.
Where are you going to post it?:	My LJ
What are you going to do after this?:	Look up photography stuff probably.
* What do you Believe? *
Do you believe in ghosts?:	It's kinda fun to...
The afterlife?:	I believe in going to Heaven. :)
Aliens?:	Sometimes I wonder...
God?:	Heck yes!
The devil?:	Yes.
Heaven?:	Yes.
Hell?:	Yes.
Scientology?:	No.
Hinduism?:	No.
Buddhism?:	No.
Christianity?:	Yes.
Taoism?:	No.
Judism?:	No.
Jesus?:	AMEN!
Nothing?:	I believe in a thing called Loooove!
Reincarnation?:	This just makes me think of the Dane Cook Skit "You know...I do hope comes back as a tree..."
Yourself?:	Usually.
* Randoms *
Have you been on an airplane before?:	Heck yeah!
Where were you going?:	Umm lots of places.
Have you been to another country?:	Canada.
Have you ever went to another country with your friends?:	I went to Canada with someone one time.
Have you ever partied in another country?:	I went clubbing in Canada.
Have you ever went on a roadtrip with your friends?:	Yes!
Ever stayed online more than 10 hours straight?:	ha ha Yes.
Pretended to like someone just to get popular?:	No I don't think so.
Talked about someone behind their back?:	Yeah. I'm human.
Had someone talk about you behind your back?:	Oh gosh I'm sure yes.
Been in a fight online?:	ha ha yeah.
Been in a fight face to face?:	Ohhh yeah.
Gotten yourself involved in a fight that wasn't about you?:	Yeah.
Been called a bitch?:	Plenty of times.
Been called a slut/whore?:	Dana calls me that all the time! ;)
Been to Australia?:	I want to.
Do you like snakes?:	Yeah. They are really cool!
Ever cried to get your own way?:	Haven't we all?
Ever broken a bone?:	Nope!
Ever had to stay in the hospital for more than a week?:	When I was a baby.
Ever had serious surgery?:	I have to have a serious surgery this summer I think. Booo! :(
Ever looked a porn online?:	I got a dang virus one time and porn got ALL over my PC. (Hence why my mac is way better than my PC).
Ever went to one of those "adult" stores?:	My friends dragged me to Priscilla's when I turned 18. lol.
Ever bought clothes at Walmart?:	Yup!
Ever gotten clothes from the Salvation Army?:	Yup!
Ever paid more than 100 dollars for a pair of jeans?:	Close.
Ever been on stage for any reason?:	Yeah.
Ever been in a play?:	Yeah.
Ever been in a choir?:	Yeah.
Ever been in a band?:	No.
Do you play, or used to play, an instrument?:	No.
Gotten a Brazilian Bikini Wax?:	Really? Is this question necessary? lol.
Waxed your eyebrows?:	No.
Waxed your legs?:	No.
Cut yourself shaving?:	Yes. All the dang time.
Have you ever died?:	Yeah. I do it alllll the time.
Was this survey an good at all?:	uhh.
What time is it right now?:	11:16pm
Take this survey \| Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

Boredom during break = Pointless Surveys

2007-12-23T03:10:32Z

*50 Questions You've Hopefully Never Answered*
Are any of your toes connected?:	Excuse me?
Do you use a pen or a pencil more often?:	A Pen, most definitely.
Do you have anything planned for July 5th?:	Umm well the 4th is my favorite Holiday so probably recovering from that!
Do you use toothpaste?:	Umm... you find me someone who doesn't.
What was the last thing you dreamed about?:	I had a dream I was kissing someone...I just can't remember who I was kissing! Bummer!
What colour is your bedroom carpet?:	Light Tan
How many passengers does your car hold?:	4
Have you ever had a black and white cat?:	I've had two. I had a cat named Chester and now we have Tucker (or what most of us call him...Smitty.)
What is your favourite canned soup?:	Healthy Choice!
Do you know anyone who lives in Russia?:	No I don't believe so...
Have you ever gone into a room only to forget why?:	Who hasn't?
Who is the last baby you held?:	Umm... my baby cousin Avery.
Do you know all the words to the Star Spangled Banner?:	I think so?
Do you have any moles?:	Not any big ones I don't think.
What kind of car were you driving two years ago?:	99 Red Volkswagen Beetle
Would you rather have an STI or share a bed with Michael Jackson?:	I think I'd have to choose the STI...lol. Eww.
When was the last time you went to the zoo?:	This past summer with the girls I nanny for. I <3 the zoo!!
Do you have any wallpaper in your house?:	thinks We used to...I don't think so anymore though.
What is the closest plaid thing to you?:	looks around I don't see anything...
Who was the last person to give you a hickey?:	I've never had a hickey. Isn't that strange?
Who was the last person to write you a check?:	My cousin Nikki after I babysat for her.
How many unframed pictures do you have in your house?:	Oh gosh, too many to count.
The last date you had that started with dinner and ended with lunch was?:	Never? lol.
Have you ever applied for a job where you had to wear skimpy clothes?:	No, I figured I'd spare people the misery. :P
How many pairs of underwear do you own?:	You can never own enough pair of underwear...
When was the last time someone gave you flowers?:	A few months ago...they were gerber daisies. My FAVORITE!
Do you play with your hair?:	If I'm bored sometimes I guess.
What do you take in your coffee, or tea?:	Cream and Sugar...or honey. mmmm.
Do you have any marshmallows?:	Yes actually I do!
Who was your high school's most popular girl?:	Oh gosh I have no clue. I doubt I was friends with her! lol!
Who was the last person who told you to fuck off?:	Umm... well a lady in her lexus flipped me off a few days ago...so I guess her?
When was the last time you used mouth wash?:	This morning.
Would you like to learn to play the harp?:	Not really. No offense to any harp players out there.
How many entryways are there into your living room?:	2.
What is the last thing you read?:	Ummm...
What is the most drinks you've had in one night?:	Too many.
Where is the last place you ordered food from?:	Ted's Montana Grill.
Have you ever ridden in a limo?:	Yeah!
What is the last thing you stapled?:	My final portfolio for spanish...I think.
Did you ever drink milk and Pepsi?:	MIXED TOGETHER?! WHAT?! WHO HAS DONE THIS?!
Are your feet ticklish?:	Very...
When was the last time you saw fireworks?:	I got a brief glimpse of Purdue's homecoming fireworks...i LOVE fireworks.
When was the last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?:	A few months ago. OMG. SO GOOD.
Who is the last person that drove you somewhere?:	Emily gave me a ride in her sexy new VW rabbit today! woot woot!
When is the last time you parked in a covered parking lot?:	Ummm during school.
Do you have a black dog?:	Nope.
Do you have any A1 in your fridge?:	Who doesn't?
Are you a dominating person?:	I can be I guess?
Who has the prettiest toes, that you know of?:	Emily has pretty pedicured toes right now!
What is the stupidest thing you've done lately?:	Oh gosh...I have to name only one thing?
Take this survey \| Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

*45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone*
whats your name spelt backwards?:	yentihw
What did you do last night?:	I spent it with 3 of my very best friends, my mom and my cousin seeing the movie P.S. I Love You
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?:	Adobe Updates
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?:	Uhh...that would be a negative.
Last time you swam in a pool?:	Over the summer.
What are you wearing?:	Black sweatpants, and an American Eagle sweatshirt
How many cars have you owned?:	2
Type of music you dislike most?:	I'm not that big on old school rap, but I really do like almost anything.
Are you registered to vote?:	Yes.
Do you have cable?:	Yes.
What kind of computer do you use?:	Macbook!
Ever made a prank phone call?:	Yeah...that was me. Sorry about that.
You like anyone right now?:	:)
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?:	I wanna go sky diving soooo bad.
Furthest place you ever traveled?:	California?
What's your favorite comic strip?:	I like Snoopy! He's so cute. But Cyanide and Happiness is pretty hilarious.
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?:	I think so?
Shower, morning or night?:	Either. At night it makes me sleeeepy so I do it before I go to bed sometimes.
Best movie you've seen in the past month?:	P.S. I Love You
Favorite pizza toppings?:	Cheeeeese.
Chips or popcorn?:	Chips.
What cell phone provider do you have?:	AT&T (and they suck. alot.)
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?:	That would be a umm...negative.
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?:	Nope.
Orange Juice or apple?:	Depends on my mood.
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?:	Stephen, Emily, Whitney, and Alex! :)
favorite chocolate bar?:	Plain old Hershey Chocolate Bar. mmmm.
Who is your longest friend and how long?:	Probably Chelsey. I've known her since she was born practically.
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?:	Eww.
Have you ever won a trophy?:	Uhh...I can't remember...wow that's sad.
Favorite arcade game?:	Snake
Ever ordered from an infomercial?:	No, but I have sat for hours watching a few...which is sad enough.
Sprite or 7-UP?:	Sprite.
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?:	An apron at a few work places...
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?:	Gum.
Ever thrown up in public?:	Yes. Not fun.
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?:	Finding true love.
Do you believe in love at first sight?:	It'd be nice if it'd happen...
SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?:	Spongebob.
Did you have long hair as a young kid?:	Not super long. No.
What message is on your voicemail machine?:	Ummm your standard "Hi this is whit...ya da ya da ya da..."
Where would you like to go right now?:	California.
Whats the name of your pet?:	Smitty, Jack, Elsie, Louie, Fletcher, Captain, and Froggies.
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?:	I don't use a backpack, but I have a pink Jansport one.
What do you think about most?:	Depends. I dunno... ha ha.
Take this survey \| Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

:)

2007-12-22T20:55:29Z

All I have to say is...

Yesterday... was a REALLY good day.

:)

When will this season end?

2007-12-19T20:46:42Z

I am just so discouraged right now... This has been, most definitely, the hardest season of my life. I keep wondering when a new one will begin, because this is all becoming too much. I am not a negative person. I am bubbly, and happy, and these ordeals in my life have brought out a side of me I don't like very much.

I guess I just find it funny. How people will say one thing, and completely act another way. I mean, if you honest to goodness wanted something more than anything else in the world...wouldn't you fight for it? Why would you cower away and let your pride stop you from achieving what you want "so badly". Especially when you say it's everything you've ever wanted. I think that avoiding your feelings and trying to forget them can really only make things worse. Am I wrong? Or am I right?

I dunno anymore. I just want this season in my life to end, or get better. I just know that I wanna be so much more than this.

It's hitting me.

2007-12-17T21:05:21Z

So all of this is really beginning to hit me...

Being home.

In a little over a year it won't be my room any longer... but I don't think that is what is bothering me.

All the photographs. All the memories. A life I had made for myself over the past 4 years... gone.

Here I am now... home to pick up all the pieces, and somehow learn to either move on or start again.

Do you ever wonder if you just accidently took a wrong turn somewhere?

Survey. Cause i'm super bored.

2007-12-17T06:15:44Z

*Odd Facts about ME*
DO YOU SNORE?:	Nope. Talk in my sleep though.
LOVER OR A FIGHTER?:	I can sooo be both.
WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?:	Being alone. And needles. I hate needles...and doctors.
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER?:	Heck ya! Legos rocked!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY TV"?:	It can be...addicting.
DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?:	If I'm bored enough I will.
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?:	Pssh heck ya! :P
HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?:	Don't ask.
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?:	Black.
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?:	Oh yes. Too often.
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?:	No. I did a simulation thing one time at the fair...it sucked.
ANY SECRET TALENTS?:	now if i told you... i'd have to kill you.
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?:	anywhere tropical and romantic.
HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI?:	Yup. love it.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?:	no. I'd like to though! I like Jake Gyllenhaal
DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE?:	I think we should take care of our planet.
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?:	I can't count that high. ;)
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?:	Nope.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?:	Sooo many times.
ARE SPEEDO'S HOT?:	If Daniel Craig is wearing one then maybe... :P
WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?:	Don't get me started...
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?:	I hope so.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?:	No. Not at all actually.
WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?:	You probably.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU":	I told my roomie I loved her recently.
IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?:	No.
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?:	sigh yes. It's the whole father daughter thing that gets to me...
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?:	Sunny side up! Or scrambled with LOTS of cheeeeeese.
ARE BLONDES DUMB?:	Is this question dumb? Yes.
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?:	I'd really love to know the answer to that...if you find out...please tell me.
WHAT TIME IS IT?:	1:08am
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?:	Hershey, Whit, Whitters, Hersh... Hershey seems to currently be the most common.
IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?:	I used to think so. Then I became a broke college kid, and it just seemed...convenient suddenly. :)
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?:	Today. Played in the snow with Emily in the Element!
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?:	Depends on how i'm feeling.
IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?:	Santa Clause freaks me out. No joke.
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?:	I do not like the dark all that much.
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?:	Peanut Butter, Cheese, and Boys. :P
CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?:	Both. I'll eat any peanut butter you give me.
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?:	Nope.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?:	Twice.
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?:	Depends on the drugs you are going to offer me. HA HA.
ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?:	Nope.
HAVE YOU EVER HITCH HIKED?:	Nope.
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?:	Bluuuuuue.
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:	Today.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?:	I am grateful for all the blessings God has given me..but currently life has been a little hard.
WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?:	Well who are we comparing it to? lol.
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?:	What? No.
HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?:	Nope.
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?:	I wanna learn how to play piano...and the drums.
CAN YOU SKATEBOARD?:	HAHAHA. NO.
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?:	The one time I went was not a good experience...id' like to try it again though.
DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?:	Yeah sometimes. I'll admit it.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?:	starts to sing the song Ummm.... shoot what are the rest of the lyrics?
IS A DOG A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?:	Dogs are pretty awesome. Not gonna lie.
YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?:	I'd say no...but I guess if I found out my husband was a serial killer i'd change my mind rather quickly.
CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?:	ha ha. i dunno. never tried it.
DOES YOUR MOM KNOW YOU HAVE A MYSPACE?:	Yeah. Does she care? No.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?:	A sandwich and a glass of milk.
DO YOU WEAR NAILPOLISH?:	Yeah sometimes.
DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?:	What is your definition of like? ;)
WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?:	All of them. Unless Peyton Manning is in them. That's a different story. :P
DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?:	Yeah.
FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?:	OneRepublic
Take this survey \| Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

Aww. Cute.

2007-12-17T00:55:25Z

Home Sweet Home

2007-12-16T06:37:22Z

Well I am home for Christmas Break. I'm a little apprehensive about this break for a few reasons. I dunno what will become of it... but here are some things that made me super happy when I came home today.

1. Our Christmas tree and all the pretty presents under it!
2. I got to go shopping with my Mommy!
3. All the pretty snow!
4. Our neighbor brought over her yearly tray of Christmas cookies (like 12 different types of cookies...it's AMAZING.)
5. I got to see my kitty cat!
6. I got to witness a pretty awesome snowball fight between my brother and my mom.

So yay for being home for the holidays... :)

How do you decide who to marry?

2007-12-13T19:58:34Z

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with. --Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by
then. -- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids. -- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. --
Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers
and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -- Craig, age
9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with
that. -- Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them
and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone
to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin,
age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

Scared.

2007-12-13T00:22:30Z

"It's good to be scared...it means you still have something to lose."

Life is scaring me currently. Alot. It's just so overwhelming.

I'm trying my hardest to think of this as a good thing. An unexpected thing. A surprise.

I dunno though...some surprises aren't always so wonderful.

Gene Kelly

2007-12-11T02:58:51Z

Gene Kelly...

You make me OH SO HAPPY!

Seriously...what is not to love?

Nothing less than outstanding.

Getting into the Christmas Spirit!

2007-12-09T20:24:01Z

As I sit here with the smell of peppermint and chocolate coming from my oven I can't help but feel the urge to write a journal entry about yesterday! It was a really fun day!

I went to the PMO Christmas Show with Vhitty and her family! This year was by far the best year that I've seen and I've seen it a number of times. There was this little girl (she had to have been like...6) and she came up and did this cute little solo about Christmas and how Jesus is more important than Christmas gifts, etc... It brought tears to my eyes how precious this little girl was! ADORABLE!

Anyways, I came home and my roomie was baking CHRISTMAS COOKIES! We literally have a bucket FULL of red and green sprinkle adorned cookies! mmm!

Last night I went with a few new friends and my roomie to see these synchronized Christmas lights that this house puts on. You tune your radio station to the station they are playing their music from and then you sit in your car and watch as the music and the lights match up! It was by far the coolest Christmas lights I've ever seen! I had such a blast! Afterwards we all watched "The Family Man". I love that movie!!

Anyways, one more week and I'm home to see my family and friends! As much as I am excited to go home...I do know I will miss all of my wonderful friends up here at school!

Does this make anyone else insanely happy?

2007-12-06T06:49:46Z

http://youtube.com/watch?v=c6j8EiWIVZs

CLASSIC.

Mediocre just won't fly any longer...

2007-12-04T18:06:05Z

So I've come to the dismal conclusion that my photography is only mediocre. This just isn't gonna fly anymore. I've honestly just kind of floated through my major and done the bare minimum and I'm realizing that the results are starting to show... When I first started out I could get away with that. In a way we were all beginners...all learning, but now...

I plan over Christmas Break to teach myself some new photography skills. I am pretty excited about this. I know I have a really limited amount of equipment which really puts a damper on some of the things I'd like try, but overall most skills can be learned with what I have.

I also really need to get working on putting together a decent professional online portfolio. I guess I better start gathering some better work before I do that...

Blah. I am just so unmotivated and so uncreative lately... School has drained all of it from me. I used to write all the time, read all the time, and take pictures constantly, and lately I don't find the enjoyment in it I once had. I need to get back into the swing of things and really find true fulfillment and what I feel I was called to do.

10 things randomly on my mind (and another excuse to not study)

2007-12-03T01:32:50Z

1. Life really is bittersweet. It's so unexpected, and as much as I HATE not knowing what direction I'm headed right now...I can't help but find it a little bittersweet. It amazes me how much changes...good and bad. I mean, I went this summer from thinking I was going to be engaged to the love of my life in the near future to being in a position where I don't even know what kind of relationships are right around the corner. It's scary, overwhelming, heartbreaking, but also exciting and unknown. I'm not sure what to think of it. I am trying so hard to accept change in my life. Why do I keep fighting it? I need to accept that people change. Friends change. Classes change. Seasons change. Nothing is stagnant. It all changes and it does it at an immense pace.

2. I need a job. Bad. I wanna work at a coffee shop crazy bad. Anyone know of any local coffee shops near Purdue that are hiring?

3. Christmas lights make me soooooo happy.

4. I'm convinced "dead week" is a myth. Either that or teachers find the urge to rebel against the idea of it and bog us down with EXTRA work on top of finals and projects and such...

5. I wish I was as forgiving towards others as Jack (my ferret) is of me. I slammed his head in a door today and he hid under the couch for a while. After a few minutes though he was back trying to climb up on my lap. I'm sorry, but if someone slammed my head in a door, I don't think I'd be looking to snuggle up with them any time soon. :P

6. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason.

7. I dropped my phone in the toilet on Thursday night. I then preceded to wash it off in sink because I was completely grossed out by it. Needless to say God obviously loves me, because after a night by the heater the phone still works! :D

8. I wanna make cupcakes really bad. (Big surprise right?)

9. Music is everything right now. It gets me through every aspect of my day. I LOVE IT.

10. I can't think of a 10th thing to write...sooo yeah...have a great "dead" week everyone. I hope your professors were far kinder to you than mine were...

Can someone please tell me what i'm doing?

2007-11-29T16:11:04Z

Can someone please tell me what I'm doing with my life?

That would be great.

Thanks!

Can I get a glimpse into the future please?

2007-11-18T21:42:15Z

Do you ever just wish God would give you a glimpse into the future? If I could look 5 years down the road and know exactly where I was going to be it would make the rest of this so much easier. Life right now is so exciting and fun, but at the same time it's incredibly confusing and quite a challenge. I just wish I knew what was going to happen after college. I have no clue what the heck I am doing with my life.

On a much lighter note...I am so excited to go home for Thanksgiving and see my family. I love the start of the holidays. Thanksgiving means I get to help my mom put up the tree, and I get to help decorate the house with all the pretty Christmas decorations. This means that Christmas music can officially be played without people looking at me like I'm crazy, and all the beautiful lights start going up around the city. Being home with family and friends, and then only THREE WEEKS of school before I get to go home for basically a month. I cannot wait.

Anyways...I am gonna so study and stop wasting time on this... byeeee!

Happy November

2007-11-06T05:13:03Z

Wow. I can't believe it's November already. I haven't updated this online journal in quite a while so I figured it was time for an update. I don't even really know where to begin or what to write about...

School is...going? I am ready for Christmas break to be here. I am so burnt out. I don't enjoy school any longer. I know that is kind of sad to say, but I just don't. I feel my creativity dwindling and I just feel so drained of energy and motivation. Senioritis maybe? I hope not. I still have a year and a half to go! I have come to the realization that college has not helped me figure out what I want to do with my life. It has only made it worse.

Gosh, what else to write about? Some very unpredictable things have been happening, and I guess I'm just waiting to let God's perfect timing figure it all out. I guess I'm in no rush right now... I wish i could look ahead 5 years and just KNOW what is going to happen. Then I wouldn't worry so much.

It's funny, because lately I just have gotten this feeling that I'm all grown up. I have this epiphany about once a week. It just hits me. I'm like...HOLY CRAP. I'm an ADULT. Then I get really scared, and I do something immature and stupid to make myself feel like a kid again. Take for instance recently I've resorted back to listening to my teeny bopper music. I busted out Britney, and Nsync and it just made me feel a little bit better knowing I could for a moment pretend to be fourteen again. :)

But...in all honesty. This growing up thing. It has to stop. I'm just not ready for it. All these people graduating, and getting engaged...and married...and even more scary...having CHILDREN. My mother kindly reminded me that the age I am at right now is the age she found out she was pregnant with me. If that doesn't scare a person...I don't know what will. When do we go from feeling like a kid to feeling like an adult? I mean I don't really feel like there is this fine line. Is it when we graduate? I don't think so, because I can't see myself feeling like a true adult when I graduate. Is it when we get married? Again...I don't really feel like that will magically make me feel like an adult. It must be when we start having children of our own. Then again... do we ever feel like we aren't children at heart anymore? I need to ask my Grandpa that. Maybe deep down he still feels like a kid. Ya never know...

Well onto something else...

I've recently become a cupcake addict. This is not a good thing. This is actually a very bad thing. In about two weeks i've probably made/eaten enough cupcakes to feed a third world country. I've decided someday I need to open up a cupcake shop. A bakery that strictly sells fun cupcakes. I mean seriously! How fun would that be? I would enjoy that. I love baking for people. Cupcakes make people happy. I think I could make people happy with sugary goodness for the rest of my life and feel I lived a fulfilling life. What do you think?

(As you can tell I'm really struggling to find stuff to write about in this entry...)

Well I guess i'll go...I'm sorry if this entry made no sense at all. I am tired. It's 12:15 in the morning, and my brain is filled with lots of scattered thoughts. (When is it not?)

Have a good one ya'll! God bless!